Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Yesterday, I spent a cold morning doing a shoot for
Shannon Wexelberg's next project. She is a singer/songwriter/worship leader and was so sweet and fun to work with. Thanks for hanging out with me for so long. My only regret is not getting a latte in the middle of the shoot. What was I thinking?! :) I cannot believe I did a photo shoot without a latte in my hand. Has that EVER happened?!

Isn't she SO pretty?!

While riding in the car to another shoot location, I was talking about not feeling professional...business-y...i dunno. I get insecure, like "Am I what they had in mind? Do I look like a REAL photographer?" (I know, I was having a moment!) I'm not poised, graceful, or serious. I fall down a lot. I laugh a lot. I love connecting with people. I like chatting with girlfriends and drinking coffee and confessing failures. It feels good and human. And in my mind, a professional photographer is reserved and serious and intellectual.

Sitting here thinking about that, it sounds so silly. I AM a real photographer. I'm not faking it! hehe! So a real photographer looks like ME. That's all I can be. I cannot worry about what other people are expecting. Just be. Be who God made me to be, with all the failures and slip-ups and obnoxious exciteable moments! It's all okay.

This career took me by surprise over 4 years ago. Actually any "career" would've been a surprise, because I didn't feel like I "fit the Johnny Bravo suit" for a professional life. Because I'm light hearted (most of the time) and slightly scatterbrained and I have NO concept of time (really). So after 4 years, I still struggle...growing pains in my own skin.

Anyone else relate?


true believer said...

I can not believe how many of my standard Chris-isms you used in this post without attributing them to me. Johnny Bravo-suit references are clearly only for me, and "be who God wants me to be"? Okay enough fake ranting. You are awesome, you are both a great artist and a great business-person. You don't have to be stuffy like other people in order to prove you belong, because this IS what God made you to be. I love you babe.

Anonymous said...

Hey fun & brilliant photographer! You are SUCH a wonderfully FUN photographer...way better than stuffy and serious! I had so much fun with you, and SO wished we would've grabbed that latte! I can totally relate to that self-questioning and doubt, and wrestle with that same stuff. Am I legit? Even though I feel like I'm a complete mess sometimes? God made us this way for a reason...I'm starting to believe that more and more.

I LOVE the pics! Can't wait to see the rest! They all capture a unique mood and feel very artistic.

Have a great week off. So grateful it worked out for you to do my photo shoot...it was meant to be. :)


dawn said...

that last one Cath...love it. Love you!

Sarah said...

Wow, your feelings and thoughts about yourself brought tears to my eyes -- lots of self-recognition in hearing your "voice." Must be why I follow your blog religiously! :)

You rock and you are an amazing person and photographer. Never forget this!

Jeanne Oliver said...

You are exactly what I was wanting and hoping for!!! Love your honest heart. LOVE the photo of the girl in the grass with the sheet music...gorgeous....only a professional could get these shots!